Let’s face it: when you are married, it seems like a conflict is always lurking around, waiting to pounce on you and your spouse. When you are done with one, another one springs up unexpectedly around the corner, making you feel as if you are trapped in a vicious cycle. Conflict in marriage is normal and inevitable. Marriage is a union of two different people with varying personalities, perspectives, beliefs, and values.
Healthy conflict resolution can foster a deeper friendship between spouses, trigger growth, inspire creativity, and improve communication. On the other hand, unhealthy conflict resolution drives a wedge between spouses and is often a breeding ground for resentment. Do you and your spouse get embroiled in heated fights that leave both of you licking your wounds for weeks on end? Perhaps your fights involve name-calling, shaming, or even violence. They leave both of you reeking of bitterness, and you want nothing to do with each other for weeks.
Paul urged Timothy not to have anything to do with foolish arguments because they produce quarrels. He added that the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, and not resentful (2 Timothy 2:23-24). Conflict should be resolved amicably and respectfully to be constructive within marriage. Endless quarrels where spouses attack and put each other down only produce resentment, snuffing out the unity God ordained in marriage. Two cannot walk together unless they are agreed (Amos 3:3).
Did you know you can snuff out a fight with your spouse before it even rears its ugly head? Paul urged believers to walk circumspectly, not as unwise but as wise (Ephesians 5:15). You can apply godly wisdom and arrest destructive squabbles in their tracks before they spiral out of control. Here are four thoughts to consider.
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